Pie! Or, I can't believe I'm so ignorant of proper wifely knowledge.

We have this wonderful old Betty Crocker cookbook from 1972. My parents have the same one, and I actually learned how to cook from it when I was a young teenager-- I was home by myself most every day one summer, so rather than getting involved with drugs like any normal kid would do, I decided to teach myself how to cook. The dessert recipes in this book are top notch. Many of the main dish ones are as well, but since it was the early 70s, there are a disturbing number of recipes that involve gelatin or cream-of-something soup. Also, the "ethnic" recipes amuse the heck out of me with their bland lack of ethnicity. I mean, just because you put in some tomatoes and 1/8 of a teaspoon of black pepper does not make the chicken Creole!

So anyway, Casey and I were flipping through this cookbook this morning, trying to get some ideas on what we should have for Christmas dinner when my family is coming down. The meat and main dish sections were decidedly uninspiring, so I flipped over to the pie chapter. Because pie is always an inspiration. Then we found this hilariously archaic paragraph heading the section on chiffon pies:

"How many chiffon pies do you know how to make? Just lemon? That's too bad. Too bad when you think how much your family might enjoy a pumpkin chiffon or strawberry chiffon or chocolate chiffon or Nesselrode. When a man eats in a restaurant he's very apt to order the chiffon pie on the menu. And so, come to think of it, are you! So why don't you be original tonight. Bake one of the family's away-from-home desserts at home. It isn't hard with these people-tested recipes."

Oh, man, I don't even know how to make a lemon chiffon pie.

I can't believe Casey married me with my lack of wifely knowledge.

Also, I'm very glad their recipes are people-tested, as opposed to, say giraffe-tested or velociraptor-tested. I'm not sure a velociraptor and I would have the same sort of kitchen procedures. 

So, anyway, because I want some chocolate that doesn't involve soy, and because apparently I can't maintain my married status without top secret chiffon pie knowledge, I'm going to make the chocolate chiffon pie today. Here is the soy free recipe!

Chocolate Chiffon Pie
9-inch baked pie shell  <---- The Pilsbury refrigerated crusts use lard instead of vegetable shortening, so they're soy free, or you can make your own.
1/2 cup sugar
1 envelope unflavored gelatin  <---- See? It was the 70s. Gelatin is inescapable.
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cups water
2 ounces melted unsweetened chocolate  <---- Unsweetened baking chocolate doesn't contain soy lecithin.
3 eggs, separated
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup chilled whipping cream <---- Reddi-Whip contains mono- and diglycerides and "natural flavorings," so it may not be soy free.

Bake pie shell. Stir together 1/2 cup sugar, the gelatin, and the salt in small saucepan, stir in water and chocolate. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until blended. Remove from heat. Beat egg yolks slightly; slowly stir in part of chocolate mixture to temper. [This is to gradually bring the egg up to a warmer temperature without causing it to curdle-- if you just drop it into the chocolate, it won't blend in properly because it will be turning into scrambled eggs.] Return egg mixture to saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, just until mixture boils. Place pan in bowl of ice and water or chill in refrigerator, stirring occasionally, until mixture mounds slightly when dropped from spoon. Stir in vanilla.

Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until foamy. Beat in 1/2 cup sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time; continue beating until mixture is stiff and glossy. Do not underbeat. Fold chocolate mixture into meringue. In chilled bowl, beat cream until stiff; fold into chocolate mixture. Pile into baked pie shell. Chill at least 3 hours or until set. If desired, serve with sweetened whipped cream [or Cool Whip] and sprinkle with chocolate curls.